So, sorry if you are reading this post and you live in Kansas, home of the below zero atmosphere. I always long for the summer around this time every winter, and I truly hate the spring. It's such a tease. I want step out into the hot air, the sun warming my skin even hotter, take a big jump, and land into refreshing cool water. I want to lay out on a chair, turning every so often, just to get that all over tan. I want to wear sunglasses and drink from an over sized cup of ice water. I'll take my son on a summer evening walk, where the temperature feels so perfect, it's heavenly. Oh, summer, where art thou?
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These two are adorable! You can tell they are so in love and they have so much fun together. Congratulations, I know you will have a beautiful wedding and marriage!
I was so excited when Julie and Jeremy decided to announce their pregnancy, and with twins no less! I was so honored to have taken pictures for this very special occasion. It all came together so cute for their Christmas cards they sent to family and friends. Thank you again for letting me capture this special moment you two!
I was riding home today with a friend/coworker, discussing photography. I was trying to figure out what I had that other photographers didn't, in the perspective of selling myself to my clients. Every photographer has their 'thing'. Some do very well with lighting, while others use amazingly cute props. Most, now days, can edit Bill Cosby right into the wedding photos if you request it! Here's my deal: I like honest photography, meaning photography that doesn't over edit or hide the true subject of the picture. I like photography that tells a story, catching candid moments, sometimes, in a beautiful angle we don't realize is there. It's finding the subject's personality. The little quirks that, with the blind eye, don't seem that special. It's about finding the right angle. This is a skill I've been told I have all along. It seems strange to me, but everyone tells me I'm such a positive, upbeat person. Well, I guess I never thought that was true. Until I started to look at my photography, and I realized my love for people. Through photography, I have found the beauty in individuals I wouldn't normally see with the 'blind eye'. I am so thankful photography has become a part of my life. It brings me closer to people, and therefore, closer to God.
Everyone warns you during your pregnancy that raising a baby is going to be hard work, no sleep, and lots and lots of messes. I don't think I was naive to this, but it's one of those experiences where you have to see it and feel it to really understand. Let's put it this way, if those deciples praying with Jesus the night before He was crucified were half the tired me and my husband are, I guess I get why they fell asleep on Him. Sometimes I feel guilty because I have thought how nice it would be to fall and hit my head so I could, guilt free, go unconscious for awhile. Yeah, it's been that desperate. I think a lot of moms and dads could surprisingly agree. I have meet and talked with many parents, including my own, that live with fairly extreme guilt. Whether it was forgetting to say 'I love you' one night, or missing a baseball game, or even that fight that has left a huge scar; it has left them with a heavy heart. My parents fought when I was little, my dad and I butted heads on a daily occurance and we didn't always have the money to have the coolest clothes to wear to school. My mother was able to stay at home, while my dad worked. One day I told my dad in a casual conversation, that I never really remembered him going to work, it seemed like he was always at home to take care of us. I thought he was going to cry. It meant so much to him that the number of hours he spent with us didn't add up to the quality of the time. I remember being chased by the 'belly man' (dad would draw a face on his stomach and in a deep bellow voice say 'the belly man is going to get you!'), underwear hat parades, and riding on his back like he was a horse. I guess what I'm getting at is, what really mattered in the end was that I felt loved. It wasn't the number of hours, the arguments over what I thought was fair or not, or even my not-so-cool wardrobe. Getting my way all the time, cool clothes, and even spending days on end together with my father are not what raised me to be a happy individual. Love was. I live with so much guilt about leaving Liam to go to work. Some nights when I go home, he almost seems angry with me. I've been told this is normal for his age, but it really hurts when he pushes me away. I hope I'm doing it right. I hope Liam feels loved.
That special place for me is California. I can feel my heartbeat slow down and a sense of freedom takes over as I step out from the LAX airport. At my grandmother's, there are no schedules, no rush to get things done. It's all about laying out at the beach, the sting of the sun on your skin when you wake up at 10am. I gather up my surf board and towel and head out for the day with absolutely no agenda. Its heavenly. Sometimes I wonder why God didn't pass on to me fortune. Like a large inheritance that would allow me to do nothing but play and sunbathe in California. It's funny when I think about Liam and how a baby learns. He picks things up and puts them in his mouth, swashing them around his tongue leaving a surface of slobber. I feel like sometimes that's what I'm doing in my life, of course, in a metaphorical sense. Sometimes I get to pick up a soft, cool textured teether and really enjoy a good mouthing of the experience. Other times, it's like I stuck my mouth on an electrical outlet. The good news is, God is allowing me to learn and sometimes, He spoils me and shows me the good in life. Like the feel of the cool ocean swirling through my hair when I dive through an oncoming wave. Other times, I think he sits back and says to Himself 'Well, okay, but you should know better…' ZAP! I definitely don't let Liam put his mouth on an electrical outlet. I feel so honored to show him 'the ropes.' I hope that with my scatter brained life, I can pass on some wisdom- to Liam, my husband, my family and friends. I hope that when they look to me they think, wow, she is a God fearing woman. I am thankful for the ups and downs, life is amazing. And just a little quote for thought… 'Our emotions are like waves. They are always coming, but you must choose which ones to surf.' |
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December 2018
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